Looking Forward

2010 comes to an end in just a few short hours.  Another year to pack away in the books.  Some had the year of their lives while some struggled to just get by. Either way, I know that everyone loves to look forward to a new year.  It will bring new opportunities, new ideas, and new experiences to everyone.  

I look forward to the new year every year.  Sometimes it’s because I had a really crappy year that did little more than bring heartache, disappointment, and frustration, and sometimes it’s because I had such a great year and can’t possibly imagine what could make another year better.  

This year has been one of heartache, disappointment, and frustration for me.  Everything from cancelled shows and trips last second, piling debts that were intended to be paid off, frustration with work and people, and to top the year off, an unexpected death in the family.  I have wept, wondered, questioned, and screamed on more than one occasion in 2010.  But I have also been hopeful.  Hopeful that things would change...get better.  I know that 2011 isn’t some sort of “reset” button that automatically makes things better, but at least we have a starting place.  

I have high-hopes for 2011.  I have high-hopes every year, but this year is especially high.  I want certain things so much that I didn’t even bother waiting until the “official new year” for them to start.  I got a jump start on continuing my weight loss (30 pounds down with 30 to go), and a major jump start on creating some new products for Kate Harris Art in 2011.  

So here’s to looking forward to new chances, new opportunities, new jobs, new bodies, and anything else you could possibly have!  2010 is in the books!

Today.

Today I am cynical and restless.

Today I want to curl up in a ball and weep my way through a bowl of ice cream. 

Today I wonder, "How did I get here...and when will it too, pass?"

Today I feel unattractive and inadequate. 

Today I am honest.  Today I feel deeply.  Today I am lonely.

I pray that tomorrow brings peace, hope, and desire.  

I pray that today is just that: only today.

The Monotony of the Christmas Season

I feel like there's tons of people that start off Christmas blogs, letters, and twitter posts with the phrase..."that time of year again." As witty as some people think that their being, this simple phrase echos emptiness, discontent, and boredom.  When did Christmas get monotonous for us?

I will be the first to admit that when it comes to holidays, I am not the most enthusiastic.  My favorites include the likes of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and New Years, but it hasn't always been Christmas. If I were to be completely honest, I would say for years I found Christmas somewhat stressful and annoying.  There was the need to keep up in the decoration department by having our house look like it threw up Christmas cheer, buy gifts that we didn't have the money for for people that we didn't think deserved them, there were too many parties to go to, and Christmas music was a never-ending redundancy of 65 versions of "Jingle Bells" and "Oh, Holy Night".  For years, I couldn't wait until Christmas was just over and done with.  It was just same ole, same ole.

For the first time, I understand that Christmas is so much more than we make it out to be. We, as a culture, have taken a great celebration and made it monotonous. We are creatures of habit and masters of tradition, never really taking the time to think and wonder.  We have stripped the true joy of the season and replaced it with cheap imitation in the likes of Apple computers, PS2s, and diamond earrings.  And yet all we are really doing is going through the motions.

It's not the Griswald Family Christmas that we all feel is inevitable because of our wacky families.  I mean, seriously, who doesn't have at least 1 Cousin Eddie in the family?  It's about thoughtfulness, quality time with friends and family, eating (we were all thinking it), and realizing that not only is it just the day that we celebrate the birth of our God; it's the day that we celebrate the changing of the world and of our futures.  It's about hope. Until I could realize that Christmas is about hope, how could it not be monotonous, boring, and stressful?  Those feelings are conjured up because I had the wrong perspective because of things that don't matter.

I was listening to a podcast earlier this week, and one of the people on it commented on the difference between presents and gifts.  A present is something that is given with the understanding that something is to be given in return.  A gift is given with no strings attached.  When I heard that, I couldn't believe that it could be so simple.  I have given very few gifts, and a boatload of presents over the years.  And yet God had sent His only son.  The single most selfless gift that could have ever been given, and I had forgotten.  How could I have been so daft?

All this being said, I have decided to reclaim Christmas for myself and my family.  I don't want to just go through the motions of buying meaningless things and giving them away half-heartedly.  I want to create,  listen to the Rat Pack, and not worry about getting in return.  I want to relish in the changing of the course of history for us.  I want to remember the hope that was given with no strings attached.  And I want to celebrate without restriction!

Merry Christmas.

Blessed Be Egypt, My People

After my post from yesterday, I am happy to announce that I went to bed at 8 Egypt time, and slept for an uninterrupted 13 hours straight.  I woke up feeling like a new person!  And it's a good thing that I had the extended slumber, because we ended up with not 2 but 3 shows.


(remember from my last post that you have to BE FLEXIBLE and pretty much anything goes when you're overseas)


Our current venue is this tent in the picture below.  Now, this picture is taken from our balcony and may seem small, but holds just over 750 people.  

We have done our last 4 performances in this tent with people pouring out the back, and angry that they aren't able to get inside.  The side flaps had to be raised so that people could see, making our performance available to over 1500 people.  This has posed a small problem for the promotors of this event because there are still too many people trying to get in.

In an attempt to make our show available to everyone that wanted to see it, we were moved to the stadium that is designed to hold all 12,000 people in attendance for this festival.  We filled the stadium to almost 7500.  

Now, this is not an ego-boosting blog post.  It's just amazing to see the response from the Egyptian people to what we're doing.  They flock inside to see the floating table, straight-jacket escape, and hear my husband speak to them.  They are completely engaged.  I wish that these couple of pictures did the energy and passion of the Egyptian people could come through.  

There are wooden carvings all over this complex that say, "Blessed be Egypt, my people" (Isaiah 19:25)  The Egyptian Christians that live and work here believe that God has given them a special place in history.  They struggle here in country that believes it should be entirely Muslim.  But they are both hopeful and faithful to their belief.  To be here at this time to serve, encourage and challenge them is humbling, and I love every second of it. 

Egypt: The First 72 Hours

If I were to tell the story of our Egypt adventure over the last 75 hours, you may think that I’m kidding.  It has been as amazing as it has been exhausting and full of surprises. 

We left the States on Monday afternoon, making our way through Atlanta, New York, and then on to Cairo.  That leg of our trip alone was over 20 hours of travel.  11 of it on our midnight flight from JFK to Cairo.  But as we hit the ground in Cairo, despite our obvious lack of sleep (because who can really sleep on a an airplane), we were energized with excitement of a new place and new people.  Our excitement was short-lived when we met our host and he told us that we would be leaving, previously unknown to us, in 4 hours from the Cairo airport to head on a one hour plane ride to Luxor, lower Egypt for a show.  So we stayed at the airport with our host and our Norwegian strong-men (for real…they are part of Team Extreme) until our 11:45 flight out of Cairo.

Time awake by the time of our landing in Luxor: 34 Hours (Side note: We have not slept since Sunday night, when it was in our own beds.)

After arriving at our hotel in Luxor at 2:30 in the morning, we found out that we would be heading out for our 4 hour van ride at precisely 4:30 am. However, anyone who has ever traveled internationally knows that exact times are never exact, but more of a suggestion.  So after napping for about 2 hours, we sat in the van for another before we ever even left the city.

The city that we ended up in, Sojh, 7 hours south of Cairo.  What started as one show turned into 2.  The audiences were amazing and the house was completely packed for both! All in all, around 3500 people saw our last-minute show. Unfortunately we didn’t get a chance to stay after the last show because we were scheduled to fly back to Cairo, out of Luxor, that night at midnight. We piled back into the van, my husband and I and the 2 Norwegians, plus 1 Egyptian strong-man. We drove the 4 hours back to Luxor, where we were promptly dropped off at the airport for our midnight flight.

As I sat down in the food court with my pack of strawberry cookies and chili lime chips, (the other option was what looked like 3-day-old pizza), I took a deep breath, knowing that even though I was exhausted and a little loopy from lack of sleep, that it was not about us and our comfort.  We had come to Egypt to serve.  Plain and simple. And even though it had been frustrating and kind of made me want to weep uncontrollably, we were here for a purpose.

Time Awake as we fly back to Cairo: 55 Hours

Again, as you read this, you may be thinking that I’m exaggerating.  Not even a little bit.  But crazy at it sounds, it’s not over yet. 

After our 1 hour flight from Luxor to Cairo, we were picked up at the airport by our van, and piled in for our 1.5 hour drive to Wadi, where we would be putting down roots for a few days for the festival.  On top of my husband and I and the 2 Norwegians, we picked up a Brazilian jujitsu artist fresh off his flight from Sao Paulo.  We chatted and laughed about all of the things that had just happened in a short 48 hours, and talked about how nice it would be to have a good nights’ sleep in a real bed for the first time in days. But the chatter died down after about 2 hours (remember the 1.5 hour drive?) and we realized that the driver didn’t know where he was.  He began to loop around the highway, stop in gas stations, and stop at local street marketers close to the highway, asking for directions.

Now take a step back.  We are in a van, in the middle of the desert, with 2 Americans, 1 Brazilian, and 2 Norwegians, all of which speak no Arabic.  Our driver speaks no English.  We ask over and over where we are and why we aren’t at the hotel, and it flusters him to the point of extending our 1.5 hour trip to over 4 hours.  (You’d be flustered too if you had an angry Norwegian strong-man sitting behind you asking where the hotel was).  We eventually pull down a small road that eventually stops being pavement and is loose desert sand.  No lights, no road signs, and no camp in sight.  After having listened to terror stories about kidnappings and small side roads that lead to nowhere from our previous days’ driver, we all start to wonder if we would  ever make it out of Egypt alive.   But luckily for us, (and our driver), we pulled into the Biet El Wadi complex around 4 am. 

Time Awake when we reach our fresh hotel beds: 63 Hours.

Let me wrap this up by saying this: if you have every visited another country, you know that time is almost in a state of suspension.  There is no hurry, no on-time (except when flying), and no real worry.  Leisure reigns.  And when we are overseas, we have learned that our American pace gets set aside and we become flexible.  That is the travelers code: Be Flexible.  If you fail at being flexible, you would hate overseas work. It’s hard and rewarding and amazing all at the same time. 

As with every other time that I am overseas, I am in love with the cultural experience, the people, the food, and the way that God works.  I am looking forward to seeing what the next few days holds, and hopefully I can get my camera to work again by the time we get to the Pyramids.

Now for some much needed sleep…

For the Foodies

Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that:

 I love to cook.  

I love to try new things and push myself both creatively and domestically in the kitchen.  As the temperatures begin to dip below summer levels and into the fall, I get excited to know that we are entering into one of the best food times of the year: Fall. Soups, warm breads, casseroles, and pies are what I think of when we get to fall. All things that make us a little warmer inside.

In lieu of this temperature transition, I've decided to let you in on one of my favorite recipes for a cool night. Vegetarian chili.  Hope that you enjoy and I would love to hear what you think of it!!

Kate's Vegetarian Chili
1 large yellow onion, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
1 yellow pepper, chopped
4 cloves garlic, chopped
3 medium tomatoes, diced
1 jalepeno, no seeds, minced
1 small can tomato paste
2 15oz cans no salt added black beans, drained and rinsed
1 15oz can no salt added red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 15oz can no salt added cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
6 cups low salt chicken stock
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp chili powder
2 Tbsp salt
1 Tbsp black pepper

Place tomatoes, chicken stock, olive oil, tomato paste, all beans, jalepeno, and salt and pepper in slow cooker set to med-high heat (or 8 hours on some models).

Chop peppers and onion and put in large skillet on med-low heat.  Saute until soft.  Add chopped garlic and saute for 2 min.  Add all peppers, onion, and garlic to slow cooker.

Stir and let cook for up to 8 hours, tasting regularly and adding salt, pepper, or spice to taste.  Serve hot over cornbread.

Serves 6-8 people

** for less spicier chili, do not put in jalepeno, or replace with jarred jalepenos which are less spicy
** for a meaty chili, add lean Jenny-O ground turkey or ground chorizo sausage.  Both are amazing and both have completely different flavors.

A God Conversation

I am here.  I know that I haven't been lately, and I hate that I feel as though I've let you down.  

"Then sings my soul..."

I realize that I've neglected our relationship because it hasn't fit into my schedule.  I have your book laying next to my bed, loaded on my computer, and available on my phone.  Yet I still don't read it.

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path..."

You know my heart and where it's at today.  You know my struggles, my anxieties, and my bitterness.  I wonder sometimes, foolishly I know, why You would leave me to struggle through these things seemingly alone.  I fail so often, I'm not quite sure why you would think that I'm capable.

  "I will fear no evil, for thou art with me..."

I sigh because I hate that we aren't as close as we used to be.  That's not your fault, it's mine.  I don't talk to you unless I need you...I don't listen unless I'm waiting to hear...and I feel empty because I don't let you love me like I know that you do.  It's like I want to live in misery.

"Be still and know that I AM GOD..."

I need you.  These aren't just empty words.  They come from somewhere deeper.  It's a longing that I can't really explain.  I need clarity and energy.

"Cast all your cares on Me, for I care for you..."

Thank you for all that you have given me. I deserve so much less.  I know, somewhere maybe a little deeper than it should be, that you have this whole thing called "my life" worked out.  You have a plan.  And you would never give me more than I can handle.  I know that you already are, but be patient with me while I'm on this journey.

"I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future..."

I love you.

Taking Time To Smell The Coffee

There are few things that I love more than quiet mornings with a book , blanket, and a cup of coffee.  Even better if it's raining.  Because of my crazy life, I find these times alone few and far between.  And necessary.

The stillness of the morning makes the loudness in my head that is business, projects, frustrations, and conversations, amplify. I am forced to finally sit down and hear their painful cries for attention.

My life is full of noise.  There are people and projects that are constantly clambering for my undivided attention.  Deadlines are knocking and everyone needs something.  Even when I'm on the road with my husband, there is always something that's needing to be done.  It's not uncommon to find myself completely overwhelmed to the point of a meltdown because I just can't handle it anymore.  The noise is deafening.

When I get to that point-of-no-return, I often wonder how I allowed myself to get there.  Again.  But, I realize that it's because I didn't take the time to be reflective and clear my head.  You know...sit down alone and write, think, pray, or talk to a friend.  We get so caught-up in "doing" that we forget what it's like to just be.  It's almost as if we are afraid of what we might think about from a painful past, or what we'll feel if we sit still longer than a few seconds.  We pull out our computers and phones, wondering what we're missing out on.  We remain distracted from reality, creating a disconnect in our hearts and minds. We become numb and start to coast through life.

Distractions are too easy.  And they leave us lonely and frustrated in the end.


What distractions do you have?


What are you missing out on because you're too busy?  

We need to silence the noise and instead take the time to smell the proverbial coffee.

The Sex Blog :: Swinging

Sex.  Marriage.  Mistresses.  Monogamy.  Sex games.  Swinging. 

If I haven't succeeded in capturing your attention with one of these words, then you may not have a pulse. Sex is everywhere.  It's in our pop music (Britney Spears' song "3" or Katy Perrys' "I Kissed a Girl"), our advertisements, our news articles, and our classrooms.  It's either all you can talk about, or the one thing that makes you get all clammy and nervous.  

In case you've been living under a rock somewhere, there's a new generation of sex that's on the rise: Swinging.  If you don't know what that means, it's simply that couples that are married "swap" to have sex with other people in an attempt to "spice up" their love lives. The craziest part is that swinging has been around since the 60s, when the idea of "free love" hit the culture.  Today, it is a multi-million dollar industry whose popularity is on the rise from major cities to the suburbs.   

Why, might you ask?

Most people have a bad taste in their mouth when they hear that ugly relationship word: cheaters.  They have happened to all of us, or we have been one ourselves.  The results are devastating.  We lose trust not only of our partner, but of anyone we have a future relationship with.  We doubt ourselves and our abilities as a mate.  And more often then not, our relationship with that cheater doesn't survive the fallout.  

Insert swinging. 

I have read multiple articles in the last few weeks about swinging. One article came up while I was at the gym.  I was reading Self magazine, and they had a 6 page spread all about the health benefits of swinging, and how it was the new thing for everyone...even the soccer mom.  It went on to talk about that when you swing, you and your spouse have a better relationship because you are communicating with each other and increasing your trust bond.  (I may or may not have thrown the magazine across the gym)

Even more recently, CNN.com had an article written about a mistress...mistress...from Australia who had been paid to be what she called a "full-time mistress" for about $1000 a week.  She would be your "play wife" in the idea that she would cook, clean, have conversations, and perform sex for anyone that wanted what their wives at home apparently couldn't provide.  Last I checked, this was a glorified prostitute.  She did this for about a year and then wrote a book on her encounters and what she apparently "learned" about men and women.  Her conclusion was that married women will never be able to satisfy their husbands, so to give them permission to have sex with other women would keep their marriages together and healthy.  Any person in their right mind would not only be deeply offended by this, but find it completely absurd that a prostitute was offering relational advice. 

I cannot even describe to you the feelings that I felt as I read these articles.  I was deeply offended that prostitutes were giving advice to wives to let their husbands sleep around because they were not enough.  And I was offended on behalf of all the men out there who are thought of as nothing more than sex addicts who can't ever seem to get enough.  I couldn't believe that people actually thought that having sex with other people, per their spouses' consent, was even remotely healthy.  To top it off, many of these people have children.  Do they not understand that a non-monogamous relationship is never healthy?  That this kind of life is never fulfilling because it's not the way that we are wired?   The emotional ramifications of this kind of lifestyle are devastating. Jealousy, boredom, and dissatisfaction can creep in and destroy.  This is the new generation of what will eventually be considered normal.  And quite honestly, it scares me.  

As Christians, we have been afraid of the topic of sex for so long that things like swinging and other forms of promiscuity have crept in. Some of you might even be upset that I would be so bold as to discuss this topic publicly.  But the truth is that it's out there and can destroy us quickly and quietly.  We need to have discussions about sex with our kids before their view of it is shaped by the likes of Lady Gaga.  If you're married, talk with your spouse about what the bedroom should be for you as a couple. Take time and effort to make it healthy. (other people and things are not healthy.)  Don't let your marriage fall apart because the spark has died out in the bedroom.  And don't let the new generation of sex intimidate and pressure you.  You are enough, and you are enough just the two of you.

The Detox Hoax

It's one of the biggest buzzwords of the last 18 months: Detox.

Thousands of programs and regiments that are designed to "rid your body of toxins".  And you know what?  It's one of the biggest hoaxes that has hit the public since the Atkins Diet craze.  But, as my husband often says, "It's easy to be deceived."

The word "detox", according to Webster's Dictionary, means the following:

"To undergo treatment to rid the body of poisonous substances, especially alcohol and drugs." 

It's origin is 1972.  Most people who detox are people in rehab (we've all seen Intervention) who are coming down off years of abuse of drugs and alcohol.  They are ridding their body of a literal "poison".  But somewhere along the way, someone realized that the word "detox" could be used for an entirely different purpose: marketing. 


If you were to get on Google (or Bing or Yahoo or whatever engine you use), and type in the word “detox”, you would find over 12.5 million pages of cleanses, diets, plans, blogs, and other various opinions on the subject. You would find things like the Acai Cleanse, the Master Cleanse (or lemon cleanse),  Evercleanse, the Cabbage Soup Diet, the ColoThin, and Colonics.  Each one claims to detoxify your body in the most effective, and fast, way.


I’m pretty sure that even though you may not have participated in one of these programs, you know someone who has, or you’ve heard of them.  But the thing that so many people have failed to realize is that they are just a fad.  Go ahead and hate me for saying it, but they are no better or different then weight loss programs like the Atkins diet, the South Beach diet, or my personal favorite, the What Would Jesus Eat? Diet.


We have bought into the fad hook, line, and sinker all over again.  Especially us women.  We want to be thin…and would do just about anything to get to that point quickly.  Everything except give up our Starbucks Frappuccinos with extra whip and the Wendy’s at 11pm.  We want a quick-fix to our poor eating habits and have believed that the only way to a healthy life is through not eating for 10 days and drinking a concoction of maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and lemon juice. (Seriously yuck!)


When I searched for a scientific perspective on these cleanses, I consulted a doctor, Wikipedia, and WebMD among others.  The opinion was repeated across the board:

“…Symptoms may improve with a detox diet, but there is no evidence that this [detox diets/cleanses] is due to clearing toxins from the body...As it turns out, a balanced, proper diet is more helpful than a detox diet.”  WebMD also stated that, “Perhaps one of the biggest dangers of detox diets is the fear they instill in the public…The good news is that your body has its own natural detoxifying process that works quite well.  The liver and kidneys do a good job of processing chemicals and eliminating them…”  WebMD goes on to make the statement that, “fasting can be addictive because it causes a kind of ‘high’.

 (I am putting this statement in there based on the fact that the Master Cleanse is one of the most popular cleanses out there, and it requires a 10-day fast.)  There was also a statement in Self magazine that said that women who don’t eat (fast) during a cleanse or diet are, on average, 8 pounds heavier than women who just ate right and exercised!  Is anybody getting this?


Are we out of our minds!?

In all honesty, I am just wondering when we stopped paying attention.  We believe just about anything, more specifically when it comes to shedding those pounds and that other buzzword: wellness.  If we really look deeper into it, we aren’t really interested in a lifestyle change, or being healthy for that matter.  Instead, we want to do what we want, when we want, but don’t want the consequences that come along with it. I have read status update after status update on Facebook and Twitter from friends of mine that have decided to "get clean" by choosing one of these diets.  The irony, however, is that when all is said and done, they "celebrate" their success and their new-found energy by hitting up their favorite drink at Starbucks and noshing on a cupcake or ice cream.  And even more commonly, they just go back to their old food and drink routine, thinking about the next time that they'll "clean out".  I'm not kidding!  Just think about how ridiculous that is!  You've "rid" the toxins from your body only to put them right back in. 

The dangers of detox diets and cleanses is right in front of our faces, yet we remain blind.  Especially us as women.  There's a lie that's easy to miss, but it’s there nevertheless.  It’s that nasty lie that tells us over and over that we aren’t good enough, and God and his design are not enough. We take products like these because we find ourselves 25 pounds overweight, lazy, and sometimes even subconsciously blame God for making us with a faulty system. No…we are faulty because we live in a broken world. We don’t want to work hard, eat right, or exercise.  We find ourselves caught up in fad diets and quick-fixes because we need to experience that we are enough.  We want to feel like we are doing something…anything. But we are left unhappy and empty, cheeseburger still in hand.

DO NOT BUY THE LIE.  It's that simple.  (For real...it really is).  Understand that we all are left with a choice to be healthy or just pretend to be healthy.  I would challenge any person, fad-cleanser or non-fad-cleanser, to make a lifestyle change for the better.  Just eat healthy. And then, go get some excercise...

This Too Shall Pass.

Ray Lamontagne said it best when he said, "Will I always feel this way...so empty, so estranged..." 

This empty is the kind of feeling that seems to come with a bottomless pit of despair at no extra charge.  It's mind-numbing and can send you into a funk that leaves you completely disillusioned.  It causes anxiety that whispers to you that nothing will ever be okay.  Sound familiar?

I have felt this.  I have felt this on more than one occasion.  I would find myself unable to believe that good things would ever be possible.  And I really couldn't tell you how I ever got to that point.  The feeling seemed to sneak up on me and poke me in the eyes.  I had zero clarity on anything.  But what's even crazier is that I was completely aware that I was in a funk and needed to get out.  It's kind of like being awake, but dreaming at the same time.  The panic I had for everyday life is almost impossible to describe. Then one day I just woke up.  It's like my body and brain decided enough was enough.

I'm sure that on some level, we've all found ourselves here.  We wonder "why me?"  Sometimes we might even pray to God (or anything that's out there) to get us out of such misery.  It consumes us, all the while life is passing us by as if nothing has happened.  We feel forgotten.  But what is this feeling that we have? Where does it come from? And how do we progress out of it?  I know that for me, I found myself in this place when things were not going well.  I felt it while I sat at home waiting for my phone to ring or when the bank account had run to almost empty.  I would feel as if the whole world had suddenly, and for no reason, turned its' back on me.  Realistic? Not really.  But that's how I felt.

See the pattern?  All of these feelings.  I had to come to the realization that my feelings are not always based in reality.  I think that there are many times that we forget that life happens.  People happen.  And though we may have played a role in a relational or business failure, life still goes on.  We have to find the ability to drag ourselves out of the gutter and start moving forward.  This may seem very simple to understand, but while you're in the midst of it, you find it almost impossible to implement. But again, Ray Lamontagne described getting out of this funk best when he said, "Well I've looked my demons in the eyes, laid bare my chest and said 'do your best to destroy me'. I've been to hell and back and I must admit you kind of bore me." We are given a choice.  We can choose to wallow in our hurt, disillusionment, and anger, or we can get up and decide that enough is enough.

I know that we will all hurt and be hurt, but make the choice to drag yourself out of the gutter of self-pity.  It will be a process that may be both painful and eye-opening.  Yet, at the end of it all, you will remember that this too shall pass.  And when it passes, you will be a better person.

Step Away From the Email....

Do you ever wake up in the morning, and the first thing that you do is roll over and check email, Facebook, and Twitter on your phone?  Or do you just sleep with your laptop on your nightstand? (or in bed with you like a long-lost lover)  Do you take your laptop to the couch while watching a movie with friends just to make sure that you don’t miss out on something important…even at 10 pm...even though you're already doing something important?

Since when did checking on the status updates of the world matter more than taking time with your wife, your husband, your children, your friends, or more importantly: God?  You do understand that all of those status updates and emails will be there even if you wait just 15 minutes to spend time having breakfast with your kids?  

I know that there are times when I am guilty of rolling over and checking my phone out of habit. I mean, I do it all day long to make sure that I haven’t missed anything, all the while missing out on what’s currently happening.  (or to be “technically correct”: what’s happening in my live feed.) There are times that I neglect my husband so that I can “just finish this one thing”, and in the same sentence get mad it him for not paying attention to me. It’s a complete double-standard, I know.  And what I’ve come to realize is that we all have an addiction that has consumed our every move and thought.  We are anxious if we don’t check everything right now, because we’ve made ourselves believe that if we don’t do it right now, then something could be missed…or we could be expelled from the universe. Who knows what irrational thought process you’ve designed for yourself to rationalize your information/technology consumption.  And on top of all that, we can’t see our own mistake to realize when we are guilty.

A while back, I remember hearing about an article that someone wrote about our information-consumed generation, and he challenged people to not let the glow of their phones and computers be the last thing they see before they go to bed, and not be the first thing they see when they woke up.  (DO NOT GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT!!) We have the rest of the day to be engrossed in work and the “need-to-know" to be let that consume our brains before we close our eyes. 

So challenge yourself to be interested in the world of the living around you.  I know that I will be. The people around you care about you and want to be with you.  They want you to turn off everyone and everything else when you sit down for dinner, and show them that they matter.  I’m pretty sure that there were a couple of statements like: “Treat others how you would want to be treated…” and “Actions speak louder than words”.  Seems pretty important, and I would bet that your life would look and feel much more fulfilling if you lived by these simple statements.  And at the very least when you follow these, you are showing your loved ones value, which could change the very course of their day.

I Create, Therefore I Am.

Ever wonder what you’re supposed to be doing with your life?  I do all the time. But I think that I have finally entered into the world of The Creative.  Anything that gives me the opportunity to be creative is where I thrive and grow.  But I haven’t always been this way.  I’ve struggled along the way to figure out just what I am supposed to be doing. But they always say, “Better late then never!”

Some people have known what they wanted to “be when they grow up” since they were kids.  My husband is one of those.  He knew after his first paid show at 11 (he made a whopping $25) that he was going to be an entertainer when he grew up. (check him out at www.HarrisIII.com) Now, along the way he’s branched into other passions he has with business and entrepreneurship.  He does all of those things alongside being an entertainer.  Everything that he has his hands in fits with what he loves and how he wants to propel his business forward.

I am a little more free-spirited than that.  More fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants is how I live life.  I have my hands in multiple projects, learning, trying things out, and wandering around a little.  I’m sure there are times that I appear just as dazed and confused as when I started, but I am on a journey.  I have written, painted, cooked, designed, attempted new languages, sewn, created, acted, psychologized, and started businesses on this journey.  Each one has been a point of growth for me no matter whether I’ve failed or succeeded at it.  I have managed to learn a lot about myself and have flexed and re-shaped my personality, all the while learning what I love and realizing what I’m good at. 

I consistently find myself creating and re-creating.  It encompasses each area that I venture into. I love the artist part of my life because it gives me, “…Freedom for the full expression of my personality.” (Gandhi)  There are no parameters to stay within and I can send my mind to the edges of the Universe for ideas.  With this type of freedom, the possibilities are quite literally, endless. 

As for what's happening in my life, next year has set itself up to be new and exciting for me on so many levels.  I have officially started to peek my head around the corner of possibility.  I have new art in the works, 2 new businesses to launch, and multiple partnerships with Global social justice organizations rocking and rolling.  I am, for lack of better words, stoked.  (and extraordinarily busy) I find myself, for the first time ever, pushing myself to the point of being nervous in business, art, and changing the world.  I have a great team and group of friends that are encouraging me along the way. It's because of God's grace and amazing people like my husband, my friends, my family, and our former church community at The Journey Church that I am where I am today.  

A Mind Full of Spanglish.

I am always a little giddy when we have the opportunity to head to a Spanish-speaking country because I get a chance to put 4 years of high school Spanish and 2 years of college Spanish (thanks mom and dad) to "good use".  In other words, I have the opportunity to mumble out a few "Hello's", "How old are you", and "Goodbyes" while trying desperately in my head to work up enough courage to attempt something more daring like "What's up?", "I enjoyed being here", and "More ice cream, please."  Alas, I am afraid that I'm doomed to speak my Spanglish like a true American on this trip.

It's not that I don't understand Spanish, I understand quite a bit.  It's that I'm terrified to say something wrong, and I suck at remembering all of the tenses, so I just keep my mouth shut and nod politely.  And what gets me excited about coming to Spanish-speaking countries is that I have the chance to try, learn, and remember all of the words that I've forgotten in the last 12 years.  

Let me give you an ejemplo of what I'm talking about.

{child}: "Hola senora.  Que Pasa?  Me llamo Gabriella."

{me}: "uh...Hola."

{me in my head}: "Just say it in Spanish!  You know how!  Tell her: Hola Gabriella! Soy muy bien, gracias.  Y, Tu?  Me llamo Kate."

{child}: (staring at me like I've lost my mind because I've frozen)

{me in my head}: "why don't you just say it?"  

{me}: "uh...me llamo Kate.  How many anos tienes?  No no no no....Cuantos anos tienes? My Spanish es mas worse de tu."

{me in my head}: "Not even close. A little faster on the delivery next time there Speedy Gonzales."

{child}: "Um, okay....adios"

{me}: "Adios!"

{me in my head}: "crap...you just showed a 5 year old what 6 years of great education can do for someone.  You had this one in the bag, and you threw it all away you wimp!  She was 5!!!"

Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little.  I know how to communicate, on some level, with a 5 year old.  On occasion, when I feel really brave, I communicate with an adult (because teenagers are intimidating in any language). And I really do understand and know what I should say.  Why don't I just do it?  Fear?  I want to communicate more than anything.   I just don't, and it really bugs me.  

Someday I hope to be conversational in at least 5 languages (not including English).  For the sake of the college dollars my parents spent on my education (and my own sanity), I will start with Spanish.  I don't have that far to go to become at least conversational.  It will just take focus. After I get that down, I'd like to move on to Italian, Thai, Mandarin, and Portuguese.  This will take some serious time, and I know that I have terrible Chinglish, but I'm hopeful.  In the meantime, I will just keep trying.  

With that I will salida to mi cama para el noche.  Buenos tardes amigos!

Have a Little Compassion

Every time that we leave the country for work, I become acutely aware of the needs of people.  Whether it's food, clean water, schools, or jobs, everyone has a need for something.  I know that there are hundreds, possibly thousands, of organizations around the globe that are designed to give aid to those people.  Take your time and read through this post and click through some of the websites for a better understanding of everything that they do and offer.  


There are clean water groups like Blood Water Mission and Charity Water who take their donations and provide wells and filtration systems for people in depressed areas without clean water. Through those systems, they also are battling the AIDS pandemic in Africa. And in case you weren't already aware, almost a billion people don't have access to clean water.  One billion people.  


There are groups like Invisible Children  who are using, "...film, creativity, and social action to end the use of child soldiers in Joseph Kony's rebel war and restore Northern Uganda to peace and prosperity." The use of child soldiers has been a reality of the people of Uganda for the last 23 years. They are abducted walking down the street to school and from their homes at night.  Once taken, they are forced to participate in killing, looting, drugs, and war, oftentimes being the ones sent to the front lines to check for land mines.  The war has been nothing short of horrific for the people who live in daily fear in Uganda, and Invisible Children is fighting to educate and bring this warlord to his knees to end the fighting. 


There are groups that many of us have heard of and maybe even been a participant of such as World Vision, Compassion International, and Holt International just to name a few.   These programs all offer child sponsorship. Don't be misled to think that every sponsorship program operates the same way.  Each group is completely unique in their focus and the way they do things.  


World Vision offers both child sponsorships as well as a huge world relief fund.  They are consistently first on the ground when there is a natural disaster and work fast and furiously to get people all of the things that need, whether that's food, water, construction materials, or medicine.  


Compassion International has "projects" set up in over 25 countries.  These projects are a partnership between Compassion and the local church in that country to offer schooling, food, and basic life skills.  And because they are partnered with the local church, they offer Bible classes for both the kids and their families.  


Holt International is a sponsorship program that deals with orphans and kids in need.  Holt is the world's largest international adoption agency, and with their new sponsorship program, money goes towards medical needs, foster care, and anything else that a child would need in those crucial first few years of life.  They work directly with adoption organizations and orphanages that are established in those countries, connecting people and children on a short-term (6-18 month) help basis.  


Like I said, these are just a few of the larger organizations that are out there.  When you think of helping people in some way, don't forget the thousands of missionaries that are on the front lines working hard in places many of these organizations can't get to.  They are building schools, medical clinics, church buildings, and helping young entrepreneurs get small business off the ground through micro-loans. (Check out Kiva and Samaritan's Purse)  They need support just like any other group, and if you believe in what they're doing, you can donate regularly to only them. They are all doing their part in trying to make this world a better, more live-able place.  


When you read about all of these things, do you roll your eyes and say to yourself, "Another person trying to make me feel bad so that I give money."?  Do you discuss the weights of the world over a $5 cup of Starbucks coffee, and then tell yourself that you don't have the money because times are difficult and the economy is bad?  There are hundreds of options and ways to make a huge difference in the world, and there are too many of us sitting around wondering what to do, yet keeping our wallets closed.  It doesn't take much.  Maybe a little bit of sacrifice for some, but if you were to really sit down and look at where all your money goes, you would realize that $20 here and $40 there once a month (or even less) really isn't a big loss.  There are too many people in the world suffering for us to sit around and be selfish. 


I have over 800 followers on Facebook and another 250 on Twitter.  That doesn't even include the occasional reader who happens upon my blog or people who read a re-tweet by someone else.  That's a lot of people who can do a lot of amazing things for this world.  So I am posting a challenge to anyone who follows me on Facebook, Twitter, or this blog to "have a little compassion" and make the sacrifice to do something.  There are great options that I've listed and there are hundreds more if you just do a search.  Get concerned about something...anything...and we can join in the change. And this isn't just for Christians. This is for humanity. We are able to better our world...which is something every human on this earth should be a part of.  But that being said, Jesus commanded it of His followers.  He commanded us to remember the least of these and to take care of the widows and orphans.  He commanded us to be His hands and feet.  So it's time to do something.  


 Let me know if you decide to do so or need a little help figuring it all out.  I'm here to help you help others and would love to hear where the journey decides to take you. :)

The Christians Are Coming!!

After spending a whole day hopping from airport to airport trying to get to Nicaragua, I realized 3 things.  

1.) I am not a fan of anything “airport”.  They are frustrating and inconvenient and I don’t enjoy being rushed from one counter to another trying to make sure that everything is as it should be.  And I hate being told when I can and can’t pee.

2.) Starbucks is everywhere…which is amazing when you’re traveling.

3.) When a Christian group is taking a missions trip, you can spot them from a hundred miles away.  Why? Bright colored t-shirts exclaiming that these are the “First Baptist Church Crusaders” on “Mission Nicaragua 2010”.  Hard to miss alongside the socks with sandals, girls in skirts (because that’s what Christian girls wear), and pleated Dockers.  And I understand the use of similar shirts or hats when traveling.  Groups are easier to keep together and locate.

Don’t take my sarcasm the wrong way.  I think that missions trips are important and that at some time or another, everyone (not just the Christians) should go on one.  They will change your life if you let them.  I have been on them, and I love going out and serving.  The problem is that we make an entrance that screams “I’m here to save the day!!”, and the “We came to love you” part gets lost behind tracks and graphic tees that are all the same.  We get wrapped up in making sure that we look the part of the good, American Christian, that we forget how little it means to those you are going to serve.  They see your agenda.

My husband joked that the Christians in the airport that were heading out to other countries were similar to the British who marched up the Eastern Coast at the start of the Revolutionary War.  They are marching right down the avenue wearing their bright red outfits, weapons in hand, giant crosses on their uniforms.  Easy to spot and know what they’re here for.  And then there’s Paul Revere riding as fast as he can to announce to the sleeping world that “The British are coming! The British are coming!!”  Not exactly the entrance the British were hoping for, I would guess. 

Is that how we look to those we are trying to serve?  A bunch of soldiers in uniform marching in with our Bibles and quick answers, ready for battle and wanting everyone to know it?  Sometimes all that’s missing is Paul Revere riding ahead to warn everyone so that they can brace for impact.  Again, don’t take my words wrong.  I’m not saying this is a representation of everyone who goes on a missions trip.  And I’m not saying that we are interested in marching in like soldiers ready for battle.  Many people go on missions trips to serve and love and take care of orphans.  Some go because they’ve never been out of the country and Mexico sounds like they have good beaches.  There are those that go out of obligation.  And there are those that go because the rest of the world is “lost” and they have to convert the masses.  To say that no one has an agenda when they are on a mission trip is both naïve and incorrect.  Everyone has an agenda.  The question is what is it and can the people see it coming.

I think the question I beg to ask is why must Christians (specifically the American ones) present themselves in a way that screams “You’re lost and I have all the answers”?  Why can’t we come in and defy the norm.  Instead of standing out because we look like a parade, why can’t we let our actions and our love speak for us?  What’s with the need to compensate?  I find it hard to believe that someone like Jesus was going around and telling people about his Father with a group of followers dressed in uniform.  He simply loved them.  He met them where they were at and never looked down on anyone.  He just was. 

So instead of heading out to other countries looking like a cheesy church group, why not try just being yourself and being the Church.  If being yourself includes black socks with sandals, then so be it. Just don’t go looking like an actor playing a role.  People want relationships.  They want you to get to know who they are and what their struggles are.  They want to be loved and prayed for.  And if you love your neighbor, as God commanded, it will speak volumes more than your cross necklaces worn as identification.

Jesus commands us to do two things: Love God. Love people.  Everything else falls into place around those 2 commands.  Don’t try to overcompensate.