Showing posts with label pseudo-reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pseudo-reality. Show all posts

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Perspective of Reality.


My husband and I are taking off to Nicaragua to perform for the next couple of days.  It was a last-minute opportunity that we were thrilled about taking.  Though we have both spent time in Central America, Nicaragua has yet to be one of the places that we've visited.  And despite the threat of hurricane-type weather, we are stoked!

Ever since we first went out of the country together to El Salvador in 2005, my husband and I try to take the time for at least 6-8 weeks outside of the States serving and relaxing.  We have realized that it's necessary for us to leave the States to keep our focus and to balance our lives.  

I will be the first person to say that I love America.  I love the rights we are allowed to exercise daily that so many other nations can’t, and I love that we are a nation that embraces uniqueness and freedom.  However, as an American, it's easy to lack perspective on reality.  There are millions of people all over the world who live on less than 1% of what we do.  There are millions of displaced children because of war, famine, AIDS, and other manageable illnesses who sleep and live in fear daily.  There are millions of people imprisoned because of faith and lack of faith everywhere.  There are millions of women and children trafficked every year to labor camps, sweat shops, and into sex slavery.  Poverty, lack of freedoms, hunger, and fear is a daily reality for most of the world.  Yet here in America, we get upset that we don't have enough money for that 2000 square foot home in suburbia; that we can't get financing for that BMW; and that we have to pay for our own healthcare.  We, the people of the wealthiest country in the world, are busy whining for handouts and payouts because that's what we deserve, all the while forgetting about the reality of everyone else.  And you wonder why Americans have a bad rap in other countries?

When you leave America for another country, you have the ability to gain immeasurable amounts of perspective if you are paying attention.  If you realize all of the freedoms that you have, you are less likely to whine about the small things and instead be thankful.  For me, every time I head to another location outside of the States, I take the time to listen and see the things around me.  I ask questions about culture, food, and customs in an attempt to understand the people better.  And I try (though sometimes failing miserably) to learn a little bit of the language. You would be surprised at how valued the locals feel when you sample their crazy food and try to communicate with them in their own language.  You are showing both honor and respect, as well as that it's not all about you and your preferences.  And ultimately, people will open their lives and homes to you, more often than not, helping you learn and become a better person.  

You can gain the perspective of reality anywhere in the world.  You don't have to be in a third world country to see how the rest of the world operates.  I would challenge anyone to put yourself out there and open up your mind and heart to all of the things that this world both offers and needs.  And I would challenge anyone to take a trip, with that open mind and heart, to anywhere else in the world and take in the culture and the people.  You will realize so much about yourself and what's really important in life.  It will force you to slow down and take time to smell the proverbial roses. There’s a reason why in Latin America, people take a siesta in the middle of the day and don’t stress out about being on time….anywhere. (even though it still drives me batty!) There’s a reason why in Eastern Asia people socialize and eat food together in open markets all day and night.  They love company and see it as a healthy part of everyday life.  And just like those in Latin America…they don’t mind taking their time.  (maybe we should see the trend?)

Just for the record, I haven’t always had perspective.  Instead, I had done a great job of building a bubble around my life and filling it with the things that mattered to no one else but  me.  They were selfish and self-serving, mattering very little at the end of the day.  I had made my life about my own comfort, worrying regularly that I didn’t have what it took, that I would never have enough, and that no one could possibly like me unless I had all of those things that “matter” to the world.  How wrong was I.  After spending those 10 days in El Salvador, I realized that there is huge world out there full of people who love deeply, work hard, and don’t drive a white Mini convertible.  But they did have one thing that I didn’t: Joy.  I had all of the things that I could have wanted at the time, yet I was empty and unhappy.  I wanted the joy that they had.  The joy that was genuine and found in the simplest of things. 

Over time, I have traveled to 10 more countries, and have gained valuable perspective on things that matter to the world and that here in America we have a tendency to overlook and understate because they are not our reality.  The statistics are staggering and you can find the numbers anywhere, but when you look in the eyes of a child bought and sold for sex, in the eyes of a poor mother trying to keep her children fed and clothed, felt the touch of a blind orphan, and seen the smiles of the forgotten, the nice cars and clothes and vacations will melt away and become nothing more than a vapor. 

Jesus commanded us to take care of the widows and the orphans.  And more importantly to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Just because they don’t live next door or are part of our immediate group of friends does not mean that they are not our neighbors.  If they are human, they are our neighbors and loved by God.

So what is your perspective of reality, and what will you do about it?



Wednesday, July 7, 2010

My Life In Emoticons

I find myself attaching emoticons to just about every text or email or Twitter update without even thinking.  More often than not, they are little smiley faces or the one with the winking eye (we call them "winky face").  But I've realized that as I attach those little emotion indicators, I don't really think about how I really feel.  I just attach them on a whim.  

We live in a world of social networking, instant communication, and blogging.  We throw our lives out there for the world to see, and follow the status updates of friends to make sure that we are kept in-the-loop.  I know that I'm guilty of posting status updates to Twitter and Facebook whether I'm in a good mood or a bad mood, oftentimes hoping for encouragement, a quick laugh, or someone to just empathize with me.  But as good intentioned as the 1000 people that are my "Friends" are, I never really feel like I can be truly authentic.  I continue to try and ride the line so that I press just enough to get a small reaction, but I'm not trying to piss anyone off.  But why?  Why I am so desperate for comments but not all that willing to be totally honest?  Why do I make smart-ass comments and then attach the little smiley to it so as to soften the blow?

I think that we have created a world where we beg for authenticity, but it's completely superficial.  We want to seem authentic, but our real motive is to post enough online to keep people semi-informed so that they don't forget that we exist.  I mean let's be honest...if you're not on Facebook or Twitter or have some sort of online presence, you don't exist.  People want to keep tabs and feel involved and if you're not there, then you become little more than a vapor.  

I had a conversation with some friends last night about a church that we had been attending.  It was amazing to find that we all had some of the same concerns and frustrations (which was why we had been on a church hiatus), and wanted so much more out of our experience there.  But we had all been silent, hiding behind smiles and excuses of being busy.  We had the opportunity to be honest, and we had shared only partial truth on occasion, or it was avoided at all costs in order to keep the waters calm. (I try to be more of silent type because of my opinionated personality).  But the four of us knew that in order for things to result in change, we needed to have a voice and be honest not only with ourselves, but others.  No more emoticons.

Is it possible to be completely authentic online, or even in person for that matter?  Or are we doomed to spend the rest of our lives hiding behind the smiley faces?  I'm not sure that it's possible to answer. So many of us have been burned by people, businesses, and churches that we don't know who or how to trust.  Because of this pseudo-relational world that we've created, we have a hard time living in reality. I do know, however, that I want a real community of people that knows that I am who I am, which means that some days will be amazing, and some will suck.  I don't want to be around people that talk behind my back, have alterior motives, or just plain old don't like me for me.  In a "how many friends/followers do you have" world, I find myself totally uninterested in "Keeping up with the Kardashians".  

So you can be a friend of mine of Facebook, or follow me on Twitter, or even read my blog, but know that I am attaching a disclaimer of sorts to all of those things and it looks something like this:

WARNING:
Opinions expressed here are the opinion of Kate Harris only. 
You are not obligated to agree or care either way.
Kate Harris strives for honesty and authenticity on Facebook, Twitter and her Blog.
If you don't like the way she does things, then there are plenty of people who exist in pseudo-reality that you are more than welcome to follow to make yourself feel better. 
Kate Harris will challenge herself and you, if you so choose.  
Follow her at your own risk.


If this doesn't suit you, then that's okay.  I'm just making sure that everyone is aware that my intentions are not piss off, but to strive for something more in this online (and not online) world.  And the next time you are having a horrible day, don't attach the smiley emoticon to your status.  Just be honest.  I'm no guru or psychologist, but I do know that when I'm honest with both myself and others, working through this thing called life gets just a little bit easier and has less surprises.