I Am An Addict.

I am one of those people that every November (I’m an overachiever) writes out a long list of “New Years Resolutions” with the intention of becoming a better person.  Yet, just like the rest of the world, when I realize on January 2nd that my intentions are destined to be a disaster, I find myself already on the path to giving up without any reason for a fight.  

I am a typical resolutioner in the sense that my resolutions tend to revolve around losing weight, working out more, reading my Bible, and following through on more projects.  So far, I have managed to gain 3 pounds, not step foot in the gym once, fell asleep reading through a Bible passage, and have 4 projects started and you guessed it...nothing finished.  Talk about failure. Now I have the rest of the year to wallow in my early failures and hope for better luck next time. 

Let’s get this straight: I want to follow through.  I want to have the discipline to do what I need to do to accomplish goals.  The problem is that I’m lazy.  Things are too hard.  I like to call it the “American Way”: want it all hoping that someone else will do it for me.  But like they tell you in AA, the first step in recovery is recognizing that you’re an addict.  

I am an addict.  

I am an addict of desire without follow-through.  An addict of creativity without execution.  An addict of wondering why everyone else “gets” and I “get not.”  

Now that I realize these things, I am lucky to understand that there is a solution to this problem and it starts with me.  It takes some hoodspuh to initiate change in myself and my mindset.  I have to forget the “diet starts Monday” mentality and just do.  Seems like such a simple solution: just do. But that’s what makes it so difficult.  We complicate, over-analyze, and whine making it harder and harder. We set ourselves up to fail before we’ve ever started.  

Even though I’ve already managed to “fail” by societies’ standards, I have decided to try again.  I can’t succeed if I only allow one failure a year.  So in my attempt to reclaim my New Years’ Resolutions, I have listing them here publicly.  I am giving it another go. And I may fail again.  But if and when that happens, I will not give up.  I will regroup and start over as many times as it takes. 

Here it goes:

1. Run 2-3 times a week no less than 2 miles with a goal of the CMA 1/2 marathon in April.
2. lose the last 30 pounds before the summer. (I managed 30 pounds down from April-December last year)
3. Blog more often.
4. Take a vacation that doesn’t include Twitter. 
5. Hold an art show in the fall. 
6. Get website/new branding up and running
7. Paint one new painting every month (starting in Feb since I’m not home the rest of Jan)

There it is.  A small but conquerable list. And the journey begins.

Looking Forward

2010 comes to an end in just a few short hours.  Another year to pack away in the books.  Some had the year of their lives while some struggled to just get by. Either way, I know that everyone loves to look forward to a new year.  It will bring new opportunities, new ideas, and new experiences to everyone.  

I look forward to the new year every year.  Sometimes it’s because I had a really crappy year that did little more than bring heartache, disappointment, and frustration, and sometimes it’s because I had such a great year and can’t possibly imagine what could make another year better.  

This year has been one of heartache, disappointment, and frustration for me.  Everything from cancelled shows and trips last second, piling debts that were intended to be paid off, frustration with work and people, and to top the year off, an unexpected death in the family.  I have wept, wondered, questioned, and screamed on more than one occasion in 2010.  But I have also been hopeful.  Hopeful that things would change...get better.  I know that 2011 isn’t some sort of “reset” button that automatically makes things better, but at least we have a starting place.  

I have high-hopes for 2011.  I have high-hopes every year, but this year is especially high.  I want certain things so much that I didn’t even bother waiting until the “official new year” for them to start.  I got a jump start on continuing my weight loss (30 pounds down with 30 to go), and a major jump start on creating some new products for Kate Harris Art in 2011.  

So here’s to looking forward to new chances, new opportunities, new jobs, new bodies, and anything else you could possibly have!  2010 is in the books!

Today.

Today I am cynical and restless.

Today I want to curl up in a ball and weep my way through a bowl of ice cream. 

Today I wonder, "How did I get here...and when will it too, pass?"

Today I feel unattractive and inadequate. 

Today I am honest.  Today I feel deeply.  Today I am lonely.

I pray that tomorrow brings peace, hope, and desire.  

I pray that today is just that: only today.

The Monotony of the Christmas Season

I feel like there's tons of people that start off Christmas blogs, letters, and twitter posts with the phrase..."that time of year again." As witty as some people think that their being, this simple phrase echos emptiness, discontent, and boredom.  When did Christmas get monotonous for us?

I will be the first to admit that when it comes to holidays, I am not the most enthusiastic.  My favorites include the likes of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and New Years, but it hasn't always been Christmas. If I were to be completely honest, I would say for years I found Christmas somewhat stressful and annoying.  There was the need to keep up in the decoration department by having our house look like it threw up Christmas cheer, buy gifts that we didn't have the money for for people that we didn't think deserved them, there were too many parties to go to, and Christmas music was a never-ending redundancy of 65 versions of "Jingle Bells" and "Oh, Holy Night".  For years, I couldn't wait until Christmas was just over and done with.  It was just same ole, same ole.

For the first time, I understand that Christmas is so much more than we make it out to be. We, as a culture, have taken a great celebration and made it monotonous. We are creatures of habit and masters of tradition, never really taking the time to think and wonder.  We have stripped the true joy of the season and replaced it with cheap imitation in the likes of Apple computers, PS2s, and diamond earrings.  And yet all we are really doing is going through the motions.

It's not the Griswald Family Christmas that we all feel is inevitable because of our wacky families.  I mean, seriously, who doesn't have at least 1 Cousin Eddie in the family?  It's about thoughtfulness, quality time with friends and family, eating (we were all thinking it), and realizing that not only is it just the day that we celebrate the birth of our God; it's the day that we celebrate the changing of the world and of our futures.  It's about hope. Until I could realize that Christmas is about hope, how could it not be monotonous, boring, and stressful?  Those feelings are conjured up because I had the wrong perspective because of things that don't matter.

I was listening to a podcast earlier this week, and one of the people on it commented on the difference between presents and gifts.  A present is something that is given with the understanding that something is to be given in return.  A gift is given with no strings attached.  When I heard that, I couldn't believe that it could be so simple.  I have given very few gifts, and a boatload of presents over the years.  And yet God had sent His only son.  The single most selfless gift that could have ever been given, and I had forgotten.  How could I have been so daft?

All this being said, I have decided to reclaim Christmas for myself and my family.  I don't want to just go through the motions of buying meaningless things and giving them away half-heartedly.  I want to create,  listen to the Rat Pack, and not worry about getting in return.  I want to relish in the changing of the course of history for us.  I want to remember the hope that was given with no strings attached.  And I want to celebrate without restriction!

Merry Christmas.

Blessed Be Egypt, My People

After my post from yesterday, I am happy to announce that I went to bed at 8 Egypt time, and slept for an uninterrupted 13 hours straight.  I woke up feeling like a new person!  And it's a good thing that I had the extended slumber, because we ended up with not 2 but 3 shows.


(remember from my last post that you have to BE FLEXIBLE and pretty much anything goes when you're overseas)


Our current venue is this tent in the picture below.  Now, this picture is taken from our balcony and may seem small, but holds just over 750 people.  

We have done our last 4 performances in this tent with people pouring out the back, and angry that they aren't able to get inside.  The side flaps had to be raised so that people could see, making our performance available to over 1500 people.  This has posed a small problem for the promotors of this event because there are still too many people trying to get in.

In an attempt to make our show available to everyone that wanted to see it, we were moved to the stadium that is designed to hold all 12,000 people in attendance for this festival.  We filled the stadium to almost 7500.  

Now, this is not an ego-boosting blog post.  It's just amazing to see the response from the Egyptian people to what we're doing.  They flock inside to see the floating table, straight-jacket escape, and hear my husband speak to them.  They are completely engaged.  I wish that these couple of pictures did the energy and passion of the Egyptian people could come through.  

There are wooden carvings all over this complex that say, "Blessed be Egypt, my people" (Isaiah 19:25)  The Egyptian Christians that live and work here believe that God has given them a special place in history.  They struggle here in country that believes it should be entirely Muslim.  But they are both hopeful and faithful to their belief.  To be here at this time to serve, encourage and challenge them is humbling, and I love every second of it. 

Egypt: The First 72 Hours

If I were to tell the story of our Egypt adventure over the last 75 hours, you may think that I’m kidding.  It has been as amazing as it has been exhausting and full of surprises. 

We left the States on Monday afternoon, making our way through Atlanta, New York, and then on to Cairo.  That leg of our trip alone was over 20 hours of travel.  11 of it on our midnight flight from JFK to Cairo.  But as we hit the ground in Cairo, despite our obvious lack of sleep (because who can really sleep on a an airplane), we were energized with excitement of a new place and new people.  Our excitement was short-lived when we met our host and he told us that we would be leaving, previously unknown to us, in 4 hours from the Cairo airport to head on a one hour plane ride to Luxor, lower Egypt for a show.  So we stayed at the airport with our host and our Norwegian strong-men (for real…they are part of Team Extreme) until our 11:45 flight out of Cairo.

Time awake by the time of our landing in Luxor: 34 Hours (Side note: We have not slept since Sunday night, when it was in our own beds.)

After arriving at our hotel in Luxor at 2:30 in the morning, we found out that we would be heading out for our 4 hour van ride at precisely 4:30 am. However, anyone who has ever traveled internationally knows that exact times are never exact, but more of a suggestion.  So after napping for about 2 hours, we sat in the van for another before we ever even left the city.

The city that we ended up in, Sojh, 7 hours south of Cairo.  What started as one show turned into 2.  The audiences were amazing and the house was completely packed for both! All in all, around 3500 people saw our last-minute show. Unfortunately we didn’t get a chance to stay after the last show because we were scheduled to fly back to Cairo, out of Luxor, that night at midnight. We piled back into the van, my husband and I and the 2 Norwegians, plus 1 Egyptian strong-man. We drove the 4 hours back to Luxor, where we were promptly dropped off at the airport for our midnight flight.

As I sat down in the food court with my pack of strawberry cookies and chili lime chips, (the other option was what looked like 3-day-old pizza), I took a deep breath, knowing that even though I was exhausted and a little loopy from lack of sleep, that it was not about us and our comfort.  We had come to Egypt to serve.  Plain and simple. And even though it had been frustrating and kind of made me want to weep uncontrollably, we were here for a purpose.

Time Awake as we fly back to Cairo: 55 Hours

Again, as you read this, you may be thinking that I’m exaggerating.  Not even a little bit.  But crazy at it sounds, it’s not over yet. 

After our 1 hour flight from Luxor to Cairo, we were picked up at the airport by our van, and piled in for our 1.5 hour drive to Wadi, where we would be putting down roots for a few days for the festival.  On top of my husband and I and the 2 Norwegians, we picked up a Brazilian jujitsu artist fresh off his flight from Sao Paulo.  We chatted and laughed about all of the things that had just happened in a short 48 hours, and talked about how nice it would be to have a good nights’ sleep in a real bed for the first time in days. But the chatter died down after about 2 hours (remember the 1.5 hour drive?) and we realized that the driver didn’t know where he was.  He began to loop around the highway, stop in gas stations, and stop at local street marketers close to the highway, asking for directions.

Now take a step back.  We are in a van, in the middle of the desert, with 2 Americans, 1 Brazilian, and 2 Norwegians, all of which speak no Arabic.  Our driver speaks no English.  We ask over and over where we are and why we aren’t at the hotel, and it flusters him to the point of extending our 1.5 hour trip to over 4 hours.  (You’d be flustered too if you had an angry Norwegian strong-man sitting behind you asking where the hotel was).  We eventually pull down a small road that eventually stops being pavement and is loose desert sand.  No lights, no road signs, and no camp in sight.  After having listened to terror stories about kidnappings and small side roads that lead to nowhere from our previous days’ driver, we all start to wonder if we would  ever make it out of Egypt alive.   But luckily for us, (and our driver), we pulled into the Biet El Wadi complex around 4 am. 

Time Awake when we reach our fresh hotel beds: 63 Hours.

Let me wrap this up by saying this: if you have every visited another country, you know that time is almost in a state of suspension.  There is no hurry, no on-time (except when flying), and no real worry.  Leisure reigns.  And when we are overseas, we have learned that our American pace gets set aside and we become flexible.  That is the travelers code: Be Flexible.  If you fail at being flexible, you would hate overseas work. It’s hard and rewarding and amazing all at the same time. 

As with every other time that I am overseas, I am in love with the cultural experience, the people, the food, and the way that God works.  I am looking forward to seeing what the next few days holds, and hopefully I can get my camera to work again by the time we get to the Pyramids.

Now for some much needed sleep…

For the Foodies

Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that:

 I love to cook.  

I love to try new things and push myself both creatively and domestically in the kitchen.  As the temperatures begin to dip below summer levels and into the fall, I get excited to know that we are entering into one of the best food times of the year: Fall. Soups, warm breads, casseroles, and pies are what I think of when we get to fall. All things that make us a little warmer inside.

In lieu of this temperature transition, I've decided to let you in on one of my favorite recipes for a cool night. Vegetarian chili.  Hope that you enjoy and I would love to hear what you think of it!!

Kate's Vegetarian Chili
1 large yellow onion, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
1 yellow pepper, chopped
4 cloves garlic, chopped
3 medium tomatoes, diced
1 jalepeno, no seeds, minced
1 small can tomato paste
2 15oz cans no salt added black beans, drained and rinsed
1 15oz can no salt added red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 15oz can no salt added cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
6 cups low salt chicken stock
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp chili powder
2 Tbsp salt
1 Tbsp black pepper

Place tomatoes, chicken stock, olive oil, tomato paste, all beans, jalepeno, and salt and pepper in slow cooker set to med-high heat (or 8 hours on some models).

Chop peppers and onion and put in large skillet on med-low heat.  Saute until soft.  Add chopped garlic and saute for 2 min.  Add all peppers, onion, and garlic to slow cooker.

Stir and let cook for up to 8 hours, tasting regularly and adding salt, pepper, or spice to taste.  Serve hot over cornbread.

Serves 6-8 people

** for less spicier chili, do not put in jalepeno, or replace with jarred jalepenos which are less spicy
** for a meaty chili, add lean Jenny-O ground turkey or ground chorizo sausage.  Both are amazing and both have completely different flavors.