A Mind Full of Spanglish.

I am always a little giddy when we have the opportunity to head to a Spanish-speaking country because I get a chance to put 4 years of high school Spanish and 2 years of college Spanish (thanks mom and dad) to "good use".  In other words, I have the opportunity to mumble out a few "Hello's", "How old are you", and "Goodbyes" while trying desperately in my head to work up enough courage to attempt something more daring like "What's up?", "I enjoyed being here", and "More ice cream, please."  Alas, I am afraid that I'm doomed to speak my Spanglish like a true American on this trip.

It's not that I don't understand Spanish, I understand quite a bit.  It's that I'm terrified to say something wrong, and I suck at remembering all of the tenses, so I just keep my mouth shut and nod politely.  And what gets me excited about coming to Spanish-speaking countries is that I have the chance to try, learn, and remember all of the words that I've forgotten in the last 12 years.  

Let me give you an ejemplo of what I'm talking about.

{child}: "Hola senora.  Que Pasa?  Me llamo Gabriella."

{me}: "uh...Hola."

{me in my head}: "Just say it in Spanish!  You know how!  Tell her: Hola Gabriella! Soy muy bien, gracias.  Y, Tu?  Me llamo Kate."

{child}: (staring at me like I've lost my mind because I've frozen)

{me in my head}: "why don't you just say it?"  

{me}: "uh...me llamo Kate.  How many anos tienes?  No no no no....Cuantos anos tienes? My Spanish es mas worse de tu."

{me in my head}: "Not even close. A little faster on the delivery next time there Speedy Gonzales."

{child}: "Um, okay....adios"

{me}: "Adios!"

{me in my head}: "crap...you just showed a 5 year old what 6 years of great education can do for someone.  You had this one in the bag, and you threw it all away you wimp!  She was 5!!!"

Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little.  I know how to communicate, on some level, with a 5 year old.  On occasion, when I feel really brave, I communicate with an adult (because teenagers are intimidating in any language). And I really do understand and know what I should say.  Why don't I just do it?  Fear?  I want to communicate more than anything.   I just don't, and it really bugs me.  

Someday I hope to be conversational in at least 5 languages (not including English).  For the sake of the college dollars my parents spent on my education (and my own sanity), I will start with Spanish.  I don't have that far to go to become at least conversational.  It will just take focus. After I get that down, I'd like to move on to Italian, Thai, Mandarin, and Portuguese.  This will take some serious time, and I know that I have terrible Chinglish, but I'm hopeful.  In the meantime, I will just keep trying.  

With that I will salida to mi cama para el noche.  Buenos tardes amigos!