A Changing Of Tides

I feel as though the last few weeks have forced major life reflection on me.  I find myself wondering, wandering, and dreaming more. Blame it on a trip to New York, a trip to DC, an exceptional time living life with my husband, or the snap-decision move back to our home in Franklin.  It could have been any or all, but I find myself ready for what's next.

I am a restless spirit.  I know there's so much to this life and I never want to waste time or miss out on opportunities. I want to consume all the life has to offer.  I am a creative; an artist; a dreamer.  Though this restlessness drives my desire for a full life, it also leaves me frustrated that I might be missing out or not fulfilling my destiny.  I waiver between contentedness and anxiousness often.  And anxious is where I find myself today.

I feel a change in the tides coming my way, and because I'm no psychic, I am irritated that I can't see exactly what's waiting in the shift. Or did the shift already happen and I just missed it?

I have a hard time believing that being back in a town that I don't really want to be in around people I can't seem to mesh with is where my future has taken me.  I would rather be running full-speed towards dreams of New York and spending a vast majority of time gazing at the walls of MoMA only to be inspired beyond my wildest dreams.  I dream of progression...creativity...opportunities...

((sigh))

Who knows what's next. There's no life map to my chagrin, but would I really be happier with my life laid out before me? Maybe I would be disappointed.

In all of this reflection, I know this to be true: I will seek to be the best I can wherever I am.  I will always have dreams of where I'll live, what kind of career will take off, and where that life will lead.  But I can relax a little knowing that the pursuit of all these things will never cease and my life will be exactly the way it was designed.