I Create, Therefore I Am.

Ever wonder what you’re supposed to be doing with your life?  I do all the time. But I think that I have finally entered into the world of The Creative.  Anything that gives me the opportunity to be creative is where I thrive and grow.  But I haven’t always been this way.  I’ve struggled along the way to figure out just what I am supposed to be doing. But they always say, “Better late then never!”

Some people have known what they wanted to “be when they grow up” since they were kids.  My husband is one of those.  He knew after his first paid show at 11 (he made a whopping $25) that he was going to be an entertainer when he grew up. (check him out at www.HarrisIII.com) Now, along the way he’s branched into other passions he has with business and entrepreneurship.  He does all of those things alongside being an entertainer.  Everything that he has his hands in fits with what he loves and how he wants to propel his business forward.

I am a little more free-spirited than that.  More fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants is how I live life.  I have my hands in multiple projects, learning, trying things out, and wandering around a little.  I’m sure there are times that I appear just as dazed and confused as when I started, but I am on a journey.  I have written, painted, cooked, designed, attempted new languages, sewn, created, acted, psychologized, and started businesses on this journey.  Each one has been a point of growth for me no matter whether I’ve failed or succeeded at it.  I have managed to learn a lot about myself and have flexed and re-shaped my personality, all the while learning what I love and realizing what I’m good at. 

I consistently find myself creating and re-creating.  It encompasses each area that I venture into. I love the artist part of my life because it gives me, “…Freedom for the full expression of my personality.” (Gandhi)  There are no parameters to stay within and I can send my mind to the edges of the Universe for ideas.  With this type of freedom, the possibilities are quite literally, endless. 

As for what's happening in my life, next year has set itself up to be new and exciting for me on so many levels.  I have officially started to peek my head around the corner of possibility.  I have new art in the works, 2 new businesses to launch, and multiple partnerships with Global social justice organizations rocking and rolling.  I am, for lack of better words, stoked.  (and extraordinarily busy) I find myself, for the first time ever, pushing myself to the point of being nervous in business, art, and changing the world.  I have a great team and group of friends that are encouraging me along the way. It's because of God's grace and amazing people like my husband, my friends, my family, and our former church community at The Journey Church that I am where I am today.  

But what does it mean? (part 4)

"Liquid"

48x60

This is the largest canvas painting that I've done to-date. (The largest painting I've done was a commission for a 72x72) I had seen this giant canvas at the art supply store on more than one occasion and I had always said to myself that I wanted to paint something this big.  When I finally took the plunge and bought this giant piece, I let it sit in my studio for a good 2 weeks and I stared at it.  I wanted to make sure whatever it was that I painted would be new and creative. 

Now, to be completely transparent as an artist, I had no idea what I wanted to paint.  I was at a complete loss and thought I had actually run out of creativity!  I know that you can't really "run out" of creativity, but there was still a small side of me that panicked and wondered if this was going to be the end of my painting career.  Then I did something that's really hard for me to do: I let go.  I let go of the insecurities that I had as a novice painter (the idea that nothing is good enough) and just let my brain relax.  That's when I got the idea for "Liquid".

The background of the painting is a deep blue that was washed with a dark brown over the top of it.  The red paint was a level 1 acrylic that I poured into a paper cup and mixed it with warm water.  When I got it to the right consistency, I just poured it right onto the canvas.  When the red had partially dried, I took a turquoise blue and mixed it water, pouring it directly over the red paint.  The result is what you see in this picture of the painting.  It was amazing to watch the transformation take place from a plain white canvas to this expression.

This painting is unlike anything I've ever done.  I have stretched my wings and begun the journey to see what I'm capable of creating, and this is just a scratch on the surface.