But what does it mean? (Part 2)

"Rain"

24x48

"Made of different stuff than when I began..." 

(written around the border of painting)

This is the one of the first true expression pieces that I did after I began to paint.  (This is not the original, someone owns that, but this is the second one).  When I sat down to paint this particular piece, I let a blank canvas sit in front of me while I listened to music on my iPod, hoping for a little inspiration.  I knew that I wanted to paint something a little more layered that had depth and meaning to it, but I wasn't sure how I was going to do that.  As I sat there, a song by Brooke Frasier came on. "Shadowfeet"(from the Albertine album)  As the long started out, she sang, "I am changing, less and less asleep, made of different stuff than when I began..." That's when it hit me.  I had changed.  I was "awake" and "aware", having moved out of my old self and into my new self. Now, don't think I'm going all new-agey on you, we all change.  We all have an event (or multiple events) that change our direction and our outlook.  Mine was that I had found God and found a church.

In 2005, my husband Harris and I joined the Journey Church in Franklin, TN. http://journeyfranklin.com/  It was a church plant by Pastor Jamie George, and it changed our lives.  In short, I found God there.  He had been waiting on the sidelines for me to finally recognize that I wanted Him and needed Him.  He had been so patient and graceful in my blatant disrespect and lack of loyalty.  See, I had known God my whole life.  Even considered myself a "Christian" because I had "prayed the prayer".  But my life reflected nothing of who God is.  It was simply all about me and my comfort.  I chose God when it was convenient...even though He had always chosen me.

After being a part of the Journey Church for a year, it clicked.  I was tired of the game of trying to live more than one life.  I was tired of running away and making it all about me.  I wanted so much more.  I wanted real life.  Real joy. Real love. And the simple line out of "Shadowfeet" jumped out at me as a testament to my life. So I began to paint. I painted the city as a sign of my community.  The clouds hung above the city as normal rain clouds do, however, they were not "normal" clouds.  They were raining buttons. Hundreds of buttons.  This was me.  I look physically the same, yet I was exuding something entirely different in my life.  I was standing out among those around me.  I was showing people that everything that I valued and everything that's inside of me is not what it seems at a quick glance. I knew that when I open up my life, you would see a difference.  I will communicate differently.  I will care differently and deeply.  I will love my spouse differently.  I love my Creator differently.

After serving and attending Journey Church for 4 years, my husband and I moved 45 minutes away. Because Journey Church would no longer be an extension of our community, we knew that we would find a new church family closer to where we lived. Before leaving, I went to Jamie and gave him the original of this painting as reminder that he done exactly as God had asked him.  He had brought the lost to Him.  Jamie had helped me dig deep and discover that there was so much more.  And as I was leaving, I told him that if he continued to do what we was doing, there should be a thousand more of these paintings showing what peoples' lives had become after learning the truth.  There would be no other option than to "rain" differently.